Despite...

- all the readings that I haven't done and I'm really getting kind of worried
- essays and tests that are coming my way real quickly
- proposals and emails that I should probably complete soon to get them out of the way
- the exams that'll be in around 1 month's time and it'll be a nightmare again

and complaining about all the above and not having a social life because I feel like I don't deserve one right now...

I find myself thinking that it is not that bad to be kept busy sometimes. Like... I actually have things to complete and life's not an entire blank?

Is this what people say about affirming our own existence- by being busy and having things to do?

Strange.

Now, if only I actually get down to doing the things that I need to do, I'll be a whole lot happier about my existence. LOL.

So, the recess week is over. Just like that. I don't even recall doing anything concrete. I didn't stay by youtube the entire day... I didn't watch alot of stuff... But I don't think I did alot of work either. So what the hell did I do? OMG I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA.

Then last night, a terrible case of insomnia struck. Like, usually the moment I lie down I only take 5 minutes, or the maximum around 10-15 minutes to fall asleep? Well last night I couldn't sleep until 4 plus, I was just tossing and turning in bed non-stop. It was sucky, if you're wondering how insomnia felt.

Maybe looking through my schedule book/diary right before bedtime isn't a good idea.

I closed my eyes and all I could think of is:
- I need to complete my 207 essay ASAP.
- Oh no shit I haven't revise my Spanish.
- This Friday got CS100 mid-term test.
- KHL haven't get back to me!! (Okay finally the person replied me, just. LOL.)
- Police permit not done yet! Mental note to myself: get template from either Kat or Jia En.
- Need to draft another proposal/invitation to Tribune.
- Spanish test in 2 weeks!
- Got lots of reading to do.
- I hope 209 essay deadline won't clash with the week where I have to hand in 213 essay and have Spanish listening and oral test (yes same week).

How to sleep like that, you tell me?

A quick post before I continue with my HL103 essay.

Yesterday was my first time staying in school on a Friday until 8 plus at night. LOL. Usually I try to rush off asap, I mean..its a Friday! But yeah, because of the BHG Bazaar, I stayed. LOL. Somemore yesterday only had one tutorial at 11.30am, HL211 lecture was an e-lecture. Speaking of which, I should probably take a look at the e-lecture. Haha. I keep forgetting about it. Anyway, it was super tiring yesterday. Probably because I did the handling of bags from about 10am to 6.30pm, with only a tutorial in between? I couldn't think straight when I was trying to do my essay last night. Which is why I gave up at around 2.30am and went off to sleep. Haha. And PMS is damn scary for me lah. When I was doing my duty yesterday after lesson, all of a sudden I just felt damn depressed, for no reason at all. /: But I still continued doing 'cause I was afraid there wasn't people to do it. After a while, I know I was going to burst into tears any moment and I was just, "OMG shit shit shit. Not here please. Ahhh." LOL! I quickly rushed to the toilet so that people won't think that I'm a freak. I think the fact that I was too damn tired from the previous two days, and that I didn't had lunch, contributed to the freak moment. So after that I bought some apple juice and then chocolate. It helped a little. Still depressed, but at least I didn't feel like crying anymore. HAHAHA. I only felt more like myself when the bazaar ended and we went to get some proper food for dinner. So that was my 'eventful' yesterday. LOL.

And today! Tsk. So much for wanting to finish my essay by afternoon. I woke up past noon I think. So like, hmmm not very possible to finish my essay by afternoon since I've only did one more paragraph in addition to my introduction which I did a few days ago? Haha. I ended up doing a bit more of my essay, and then I watched Atonement. Oh well, at least Atonement was freaking good, IMO. Haha! I wrote a bit more of my essay, and then I had dinner and watched Daredevil on Channel 5. /: I really should die. Now I will get back to my essay, and hopefully it will be done before I sleep. Hahaha.

___________________________________________________________________________________

解脱 是懂擦干泪看以后
找个新方向往前走
这世界辽阔
我总会实现一个梦

YAY I am finally done with my HL205 essay! Who would have known that keeping your essay to 900 words is so much more difficult than trying to hit 2000 words. I guess we're so used to smoking and crapping that its difficult to use our words economically.

Schedule for this week:
Monday: prepare for HW111 presentation with Nadifa.
Tuesday: prepare for my HL103 presentation on Wednesday.
Wednesday to Friday: Decide what the hell I want to do for HL103 essay and plan it out.
Weekend: Start working on it.

Hmm I haven't take into account that I have to watch The Guru (HL211 film for this week) and do my readings for HL105 and HL205. I'm guessing I'll be quite behind for my readings. Sigh.

Oh and I finally watched the last episode of 斗牛, 要不要. OMG its so ridiculous. Its the kind that makes you WTF throughout that entire episode. But in a funny way. I kept laughing out loud. Seriously man. Everyone should just watch that last episode for the sake of seeing how WTF it is. Its hilarious.



Okay, finally a day that I'm going to sleep before 2am. YAY. (:

Just the thought of the essays and assignments that I have makes me feel really tired. I guess for the next few weeks, its going to be nothing but school. I've got essays to write, presentations to prepare for, and readings to do.

19th March, Wednesday- HL103 Presentation
20th March, Thursday- HL205 Essay due

26th March, Wednesday- BHG Bazaar
27th March, Thursday- BHG Bazaar, HW111 Presentation
28th March, Friday- BHG Bazaar

1st April, Tuesday- HL103 Essay due
4th April, Friday- HL211 Essay due

I know that there's definitely time to finish everything, but still, I can't help but be slightly overwhelmed.

I am worried because:
I am behind in my readings, especially for HL103, which I haven't read anything this semester.
the quality of my essays are bad. I am so shallow in my analysis sometimes most of the time.
I have skipped quite a number of lectures and tutorials this semester.
I missed HL205 quiz yesterday, and the first one I took was so bad that I won't be surprised if I get a zero. HL211's quiz was bad too.
I am so slack this semester.

And I don't even want to think of the exams now. Please wish me all the best, people. Thanks.

I hate it when a close friend wants to say something about me, yet says it so ambiguously. So I'm left wondering what was it that you were trying to say. Maybe it was obvious, just that I was too dense to get it. But I would rather you tell me in the face clearly and honestly as to what the heck you mean, so that I don't have to guess around, in my mind no less. This has happened before, and again, I guess it was a trivial matter/comment to everyone present. Ah its me being over-sensitive again, it must be the stress. Still, it sucked having to pretend that I wasn't a little affected. And I'm sorry if I'm not as nice as I look, but I can't help the way I look, right?

Actually I really should not mind so much as to what people say about me, but I get quite uptight when its people who matter saying those stuff. Unfortunately. ):

YAY I have completed my essay! Like Nat, I decided to restart on my essay at 10 plus last night (when I was already at 1000 words plus). And I slept at 3 plus in the morning. So, I wanted to go to HL205 lecture today at 11.30am...but I woke up at 10am, the time when I'm supposed to leave my house. (Yeah I went home yesterday.) I decided to finish up my essay before leaving my house at 1pm for HW111 tutorial. And yes, its done! (: It seems kind of shallow though, I really hope I don't get a C for this last minute work.

I watched The Leap Years just now! Hmmm. It wasn't fantastic shit or anything like that. But Wong Li-Lin is damn pretty, and that Shutter guy is damn cute. LOL, forgive me, I can never remember his name. So anyway, I thought it was quite an average movie, even though the idea of 29th Feb's Irish tradition was quite cool. The dialogue wasn't as cheesy as I thought. I guess I wasn't expecting much from the movie after reading the book, so I wasn't disappointed too. (: Its something to watch on cheap movie days! And you know what, I actually like the movie better than the book. Probably because too much lovey-dovey stuff goes on in the book, which doesn't really appeal to me.

And, I saw this on Facebook just now. I THOUGHT IT WAS DAMN FUNNY. I'm sorry, Cher, I just have to post this. HAHAHA. Okay, actually I think if you know Cher, then this will be funny. I was laughing like shit to myself in hall. This is one of the applications in Facebook, the 10-second interview thing. 

Disclaimer: This is not to make fun of Cher. I am just very amused by her answers. I'm sure Cher has a good enough sense of humour to know that I'm just tickled. (:

On Cher's page...
 
What celebrity do people say you look like?
Cher's response: hurrrrr..nobody. only the shark in shark's tale. and i don't think he is a celebrity.
My response: HAHAHAHA. And the shark in Finding Nemo! I think he's called Bruce. Isn't he more famous than the one in Shark Tale? I mean, at least we know his name. LOL.

How long have you spent answering these questions so far?
Cher's response: 30 minutes! I thought it would automatically stop in 10 seconds?
My response: LOL what a typical Cher thought. Haha!

What does the tooth fairy do with all these teeth? (omg so random.)
Cher's response: she builds a tooth palace. and she skips in it happily everyday. :D
My response: Only Cher can think of such stuff. Hahaha. So random lor.

Bury me with my...
Cher's response: PJs..I always wanted to wear some.
My response: LOL! poor girl. we'll get you some on your birthday okay.

Make up a fact about penguins right now.
Cher's response: penguins love rainbows, so all their lives they're just trying to get out of north pole or south pole if they're there. but they always die before they find the rainbow. haha. tragic.
My response: I seriously LOL-ed at this. 

Have you ever been on TV?
Cher's response: errrrrrrr....sort of? the camera swooped past me when i was adjusting my specs. how unglam. but you probably didn't see it. thankfully.

When the aliens arrive, I hope they bring...
Cher's response: happiness? errrrrr..sounds wrong. haha.
My response: LOL wtf. I'm guessing she's thinking of E.T when she replied that.

What's the strangest question you've been asked in a job interview?
Cher's response: Does anyone in your family have any medical conditions?
My response: I can so totally imagine Cher's expression. I hope she replied "oh yeah that's me!" *displays signs of madness*

I feel naked without my...
Cher's response: clothes?
My response: HAHAHA. All hail the Queen of Obvious!

Seriously, she's like such a good interviewee. So interesting and fun to read. If I ever need to interview someone, I will surely find her. Hahaha!

I'm now in hall waiting for my dad to pick me up after his work to go home. 

So, quick check again!

Sunday
- Finished up with alumni contacts. Wow like FINALLY. I thought I was seriously going blind already. I got so frustrated that I was tempted to stab my eyes out with my blue ballpoint pen.
- Read a couple of chapters of Lady Audley's Secret.
- Printed many many lecture notes because my printer finally has ink.
- Continued with 2 episodes of 斗牛, 要不要. *ashamed and guilty*

Okay relatively productive. But maybe 'cause its a Sunday and I had alot of time to spare.

Monday (Today)
- SF meeting until late afternoon.
- Went to print HL211 notes in school library, because its alot of pages and my printer ink at home runs out quickly. Sigh.
- Decided that the poem that I found sucked, and my friends told me that Jeremy, my tutor, said we can don't use a poem that has been discussed in class. YES! So I went online for a loooonnng time and have finally decided on 2 poems. Only did a bit of planning. *shakes head sadly*
- Read a few more chapters of Lady Audley's Secret. (You guys must be wondering how come I still haven't finish it after reading so many chapters. Well, the chapters are really short, and...the story is not that short. HAHAHA. I find it easier to read than Jane Eyre though.)

Not very productive today. I need to plan my HL105 essay in detail. I think it might not be possible to do it by today. Because I have 8days. And I haven't read it yet. /:

On a side note, I want Juno's soundtrack! So far, nobody I know has that first song in the movie. ):

It is the start of my recess break, but sadly, it doesn't feel like a break at all. Oh well, at least there's no school for one week.

Let me show you my schedule for recess week, and you will know why I am so SIAN-ed.

23 Feb, Saturday: 
NTU has some talks going on at Suntec. The chairperson of my CCA thought it'll be good to give out flyers for our event there tomorrow to get more participants. So I'll be there from 2.30pm to 5pm. After that, I think I'll be helping to give out publicity posters to various Ben & Jerry's outlets, since they are one of our sponsors.

25 Feb, Monday:
Student Fund meeting in school at 12.30pm. Will most probably take up some time since there are loose ends to tie, and we need to pack the lousy goodie bags after that. I'm not just saying that, they're really lousy. HAHAHA.

26 Feb, Tuesday:
HS813 (my tourism elective) project meeting at 1pm. We have to do research for our presentation.

28 Feb, Thursday:
Possible meeting for HS813 again, if we can't finish our presentation stuff by Tuesday.
Dim Sum Dollies at 8pm with Nat and Belle. (:

29 Feb, Friday:
Its one day before the event. Might have some last minute stuff to do?

1st & 2nd March, Saturday & Sunday:
Fund Run '08. I don't have to be there for the whole 24 hours..But it'll still take up part of my weekend.

Things to be done this week:
- Key in contact details of Alumni Registration by Saturday or Sunday at most.
- Do up manpower allocation with Nadifa for event.
- Research Essay Proposal for HL211, as its due right after recess week.
- HL105 Essay. I need to start on this ASAP since its a freaking essay. Its due after recess break too. I have to compare 2 Singapore Lit poems, one from those that had been discussed in class, one that we're supposed to find on our own. I haven't even start finding. S-H-I-T.
- Read Lady Audley's Secret.
- CATCH UP ON MY OTHER READINGS, IF I STILL HAVE TIME, THOUGH I HIGHLY DOUBT SO.

I like this whole event-planning thing. Really. And the fact that its for charity just makes it even more worthwhile. Its just that now its like everything's coming at me all at one go. So I'm just a little stressed out. I had planned for my recess break to catch up on readings (loads of them). Looks like I can't catch up much now. If any of you happened to notice that I'm talking less, more anti-social and more serious this week, I'm just stressed. It has nothing to do with you, I still love everybody. (: This phase might continue for the next few weeks (because more assignments are coming our way! I have HL103 presentation and HL205 essay in Week 11, this recess break is Week 8, and I haven't check when is HW111 presentation and when is HL211 Research Essay due.), so I apologise in advance for being not-very-good company. Tonight's dinner with the girls loosened me up a little; I really love their company despite our many differences. But I still can't help but think of the stuff that I have to do every once in a while. 

Sigh. I hope I'm still alive at the end of March. So that I can get ready for slaughter once more for the exams in April. But that's if I managed to stay alive. May the Force be with me. 
 
 

THE INTERNET KEEPS DISCONNECTING FOR SOME REASON AND ITS REALLY DIFFICULT TO DO MY WORK.

WHEN IT DISCONNECTS, I TRY TO OCCUPY MYSELF BY KEYING IN NAMES AND DETAILS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE REGISTERED FOR THE CCA EVENT INTO AN EXCEL SHEET. THEIR HANDWRITING IS HORRENDOUS. IN THE COLUMN 'COURSE/YEAR', SOME JOKERS PUT STUFF LIKE 'BA(PRI)', WHICH I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT STANDS FOR BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE STH LIKE 'ELH/1'? UNLESS THEY THINK THAT FRESHMAN YEAR MEANS PRIMARY LEVEL OR STH?? ANYWAY, I GO BLIND TRYING TO DECIPHER THE HANDWRITING.

WHEN I CAN FINALLY DO MY WORK, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING FOR POTENTIAL INTERNSHIPS/ATTACHMENTS FOR MY ASSIGNMENT. TO WRITE A FAKE BUT REALISTIC RESUME FOR. I AM SADDENED BY THE FACT THAT THERE ARE NOT MANY JOBS FOR ENG LIT PEOPLE. AND AT THE TREMENDOUS AMT FOR BUSINESS, SALES, MARKETING, COMMUNICATIONS, MEDIA, ENGINEERING ETC.

SIGHHH.